Firstly I want to start by saying I am one of those individuals who is able to laugh at themselves and the circumstances I may find myself as a direct result of my disability. I’ve been wheelchair dependant since 6 years old, so I have had the WORLD’S worth of comments. This is no new feit to me and most of which I’ve never got my knickers in a twist about. Everything from the good, “I’m so inspirational for wheeling outside my front door every morning to face the world from the horrendous restraints of This wheelchair!” To the down right ugly…”Maybe if you’d of tried harder you would of walked longer?” -_- Seriously.
“Top 10 Things People Have Asked Me As A Wheelchair User”
1. “Were you in a car accident?”
My Answer: “No, I was born with a progressive muscle-wasting condition”
What I’m Actually Thinking: “Why do most able bodied people assume if you’re in a chair you must of been in a car crash and paralysed at some point in life?”
2. “So, if I dropped a brick on your foot could you feel it?”
My Answer: “Lol yes, please don’t try that I am not paralysed” while nervously laughing
What I’m Actually Thinking: What if I couldn’t feel it? Would they test out their theory anyway? 😱
3. “My friends, neighbours friends cousin twice removed is in a wheelchair too! Maybe you know them?”
My Answer: “Contrary to popular belief, we don’t all know each other.” Often met by an insulted scoff. I need to be more polite I guess.
What I’m Actually Thinking: Maybe if we were all still institutionalised….
4. “Have you ever thought of participating in the Paralympics?”
My Answer: “I have a muscle-wasting condition, you have to have some degree of physical strength to be a Paralympian”
What I’m Actually Thinking: I wonder if they’d consider typing super fast as a Paralympic sport?
5. “How do you go to the toilet?”
My Answer: “Get out my wheelchair, do my business, get back in.”
What I’m Actually Thinking: So tempted to educate them on how difficult it REALLY is when the bog standard disabled loo is useless to you and the holy grail of a Changing Places bathroom is just too far to commute before my bladder will burst. Better yet, let’s challenge this person do to “Pee Math” and have 1 1/2 cups of liquid a day so they can make it all day without needing to go home. No that’s just evil…
6. “Can you still have sex?”
My Answer:“Of course, disabled individuals are NOT asexual”
What I’m Actually Thinking: You must have never got creative or thought outside of the box in the bedroom…
7. “Do you sleep in your wheelchair?”
My Answer: “No, I own a bed and I sleep in a bed like everyone else..”
What I’m Actually Thinking: Seriously, do they think wheelchair users bums are glued to their cushions lol
8. “Are you supposed to be out here on your own hunni? Where’s your carer?”
My Answer: This one particularly urks me so I count to ten in my head before answering, “I am just fine thanks!”
What I’m Actually Thinking: I so should of said something sarcastic such as, “Are you sure YOU’RE OK to be out here on your own hun? Do you need me to call someone?”
9. “Have you ever got a speeding ticket?”
My Answer: Awkward laugh as I speed past, “Nope, not yet!”
What I’m Actually Thinking: If I had a pound for every time someone said this I’d be so rich by now..
10. “You ever tried (insert vitamin/herbal/alternative/spiritual/potentially harmful treatment here) so you can walk again?
My Answer:” Yes I’ve tried (insert miracle cure here) and it appears not to have worked,” while I gesture to my legs to make a point.
What I’m Actually Thinking: I bet they actually don’t believe I’ve tried alternative means to treat my MD and want to remain this way lol.
So there concludes my “Top 10 Things People Have Asked Me As A Wheelchair User.” I hope some of them made you laugh 😁 because let’s face it….sometimes that’s all you can do…is just laugh it off!